The Hair of My Heart

"‎6 Days and some odd hours and the hair of my heart will be cut and begin to grow again. I am excited and terrified all at once... because the impossibilities will be possible."



This little facebook status has brought lots of questions my way the passed couple days. I thought I would write a little blog to answer them. I was both sad and happy at the response to the status. Happy because people are actually reading my posts. Sad because it wasn't obvious what it meant. So here's what it means...

I took a Nazirite vow several years ago and it will end on my birthday, which is in 4 days for all you gift giving people. A Nazirite vow comes from the book of Numbers chapter 6. They would not cut their hair, eat or drink of the vine, touch dead things, etc... If they took only on a seasonal vow, at the end of the vow they would cut their hair. There were a couple life-long Nazirites in the Bible (John the Baptist, Samuel, Samson), but most just took a vow for a season as I have done.

“If a man or woman wants to make a special vow, a vow of separation to the Lord as a Nazirite...” (Numbers 6:2)

This is the verse I have lived by for the passed 5 years. I wanted to make a vow of separation to the Lord... so I did.

I did not take a traditional vow. I did cut the hair on my head after the first 2 years. I did eat grapes after the first 2 years. I haven't touched anything dead... 'cause that's just gross. But I did take a vow that separates me.

In my generation, I am different. Many of you that will be reading this will find that I'm not all that different from you... so I will say, in our generation, we are different. Because we have chosen the narrow road. Now, it is one thing to have the heart of a Nazirite (one that is set apart), and to take a Nazirite vow. Although my vow is ending, my heart will still be that of one consecrated and set apart... but the things that I abstained from while on the vow will somewhat change.

There are several things that have separated me that I felt called to for this vow. Some are extremely personal to me that I will not share with a soul, but 1 that I think a lot of you who know me know about is that I set the first 5 years of my 20's aside to not date. In our culture that is not normal... it set me apart. That part of the vow has been challenged like no other part... but it has held strong. :) Does this mean I am 'on the market' or 'single and ready to mingle'? No... it just means courtship/marriage is possible for me now.

When I took this vow, I was a very different person than I am now. From age 20 to age 25 sooooo much has happened and life has changed over and over again. If I had to do it all over again, I would. Perhaps a little different, a little deeper... but I only got to deeper by first cracking the surface.

So as I won't be cutting the hair of my head at the end of this vow... I spoke of the 'hair of my heart'. This is not the end of a thing, but the beginning of possibilities that were impossibilities up to this point. This does not mean I get to slack off on my relationship with God or be less consecrated or set apart... I actually am setting new goals and considering a deeper level vow for the next year. But we shall see... Still praying about what all that looks like.

So there you go. I hope this answers your questions.

If you have any more questions about Nazirites and the Nazirite vow, there is a great little book that I have read recently you should read. It's called Nazirite DNA by Lou Engle. You can get it here: http://thecall.us.churchinsight.com/Group/Group.aspx?ID=1000053675

If you are considering taking a vow of your own, I urge and encourage you to do so with prayer and fasting attached when deciding what to do. This will make all the difference. This kind of consecration will change everything for you and should not be entered into lightly. That being said, it has been one of the greatest decisions and joys of my life and I am looking forward to receiving the blessings attached to this covenant.

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